SUPER MATTRESS

part 2

So who knows what was going on with all the wildlife that night, but The Vindicator took care of it. Things can definitely get crazier around here sometimes. For some odd reason, there is an especially high number of mad scientists and super villains in our fair city, so The Vindicator often has to work double and even triple time. When the Dirty Bologna Brothers decide they want to divert all the city’s electricity to their lab to work on the latest generation of Destructo lasers, and the Humungous Chicken Man decides he wants to contaminate the water in the city’s fish farms the very next day, you can bet The Vindicator is going to miss out on some sleep for a while. He says he works alone—no sidekick, but everyone knows he couldn’t do it without me. When he gets home from these all-nighters, sometimes he’ll sleep for two days straight. I always take great care of him with extra good comfort and support for those tough nights. We make a great team.

It’s pretty interesting though, because The Vindicator does have a tendency to talk in his sleep, and he often has wild dreams. He’s had a crush on local journalist Abigail Akins for years now. He’ll thrash and toss and turn in the night and yell out things like “Chicken Man, you let that Abby go, or I’ll send you to the moon with my power punch.” And he’s serious. He’s the real deal. But no matter how much he flails around, he always settles back down to sleep. That’s because he’s got the most supportive mattress that won’t let him down. I always take great care of the Vindicator and make sure his powers are at maximum strength.

I really admire my owner. Not many people are as dedicated to keeping people as safe and sound as we are. He’s probably rescued Abigail at least a dozen times. Come to think of it, she sure does get into trouble a lot. I even remember a time when she rescued him. See, he didn’t get a good night’s sleep the night before—I know because he was out rescuing babies and puppies and stopping a giant flood at the aquarium. So his arch-enemy, the Oyster, was able to catch him off guard and dump a bucket of fish juice—The Vindicator’s only natural weakness—all over him, completely robbing him of his super powers. But the Oyster had no idea that Abigail was sneaking around following them. She snuck up behind the Oyster and clobbered him over the head with a tire iron. Then she dragged The Vindicator back here, shoved him into the shower, and once the fish juice washed off, he started coming around. He thanked Abigail and climbed onto me for a long needed rest. What I know and he doesn’t is that Abigail kissed him before she left. She’s a good kid.

So basically what it comes down to, is that whenever The Vindicator gets a good night’s sleep on me, the more powerful he is, and the more butt he kicks. So if you want some super advice from a super mattress, you got to be serious about your sleep if you want to be serious about living your life…live your life and sleep your best.

Thanks – more stories about Larry to come at liveandsleep.com

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